Thursday, August 14, 2003

Remember Jack Whittaker ? Of course you don’t. He won the largest ever Powerball lottery drawing last December. Whittaker was already a millionaire, the owner of numerous construction companies, so his winning of additional millions was more than just a little annoying. He’s also a member of the Church of God, and promised to use some of his earning to do “good works.” This too, I’m afraid, is more than just a little annoying. Obviously losing a little sleep as he recalled that sunday-school nonsense about it being easier for a camel to travel through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the old kingdom, Whittaker promised to give over 10% of his winnings to the Chruch before he went and spent any himself! Wow, Jesus Christ, what tremendous largesse! So what of the other 90%? What were the good works Jack had in mind for himself? This from last Wednesday’s “National Briefing” section in the NYT’s:

WEST VIRGINIA: LOTTERY WINNER ROBBED AT STRIP CLUB- More than $500,000 was stolen from a sport utility vehicle that a Powerball millionaire parked at a strip club, but the money was recovered, a sheriff’s deputy said. A briefcase with $245,000 in cash and three blank $100,000 cashier’s checks was taken from the vehicle of the lottery winner, Jack Whittaker, who received a $113 million option jackpot after winning a record $314.9 million prize on Dec. 25. The cash and checks were found behind a trash bin. A sheriff’s deputy said Mr. Whittaker carried large sums of money because he liked to gamble.

Apparently, Mr. Whittaker likes a little T & A alongside the Lord's work. To paraphrase our fearless leader, "I am mindful that we're all sinners."

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